Kiss the Ring, Swipe the Card

Once hidden in shadows, the grift now struts in daylight—Trump turned corruption into currency, and the GOP? They’re not fighting it—they’re franchising it.

Guest article by Michael Cohen

There was a time when grifting had the decency to at least pretend it wasn’t grifting. Deals were whispered over steakhouse booths, favors traded in coded language, and cash exchanged behind closed doors in fat envelopes that reeked of cologne and power. Corruption wore a tie, used burner phones, and denied everything when asked. There was a method to the madness. There were rules.

Not anymore.

Today, we live in the age of open-air grift; loud, proud, and without a shred of shame. It’s not just legal anymore; it’s fashionable. The Trump era didn’t just normalize corruption—it turned it into a damn business model. In fact, the less subtle you are, the more lucrative it becomes.

Let me break it down for you. You don’t need to be slick, or careful, or even competent. All you need is the right last name, a loyal nod from the Don himself, and maybe a Trump-themed meme token or two—because in this house of mirrors, even the digital dumpster fire that is cryptocurrency can be repackaged as patriotism if it’s slathered in enough MAGA red.

We’ve entered the NFT stage of American decay, where Trump—yes, the man who used to hawk steaks, vodka, and mail-order universities—is now peddling internet funny money with his face on it. “Trump Meme Tokens.” You can’t make this shit up. And yet, here we are. More than one hundred million dollars’ worth, vapor-traded by the faithful like indulgences sold by the medieval Church. The unspoken message? You’re not just buying a worthless token. You’re buying access. You’re pledging allegiance. You’re proving you’re in the family.

This isn’t about ideology or policy or “making America great.” It’s about making yourself rich while pretending you’re saving the Republic. It’s political cosplay with a price tag. And you know what? It works.

Grift is no longer the side hustle; it is the hustle. Government power is now just one more asset in the Trump family enterprise. Cabinet secretaries hand off companies to their kids like it’s some wholesome family tradition, then magically watch those businesses explode in value. Connections, influence, contracts—it all starts flowing in, as if by divine intervention. But really, it’s just the name. It’s just the name TRUMP. That, my friends, is the grift.

Slap “Trump-adjacent” on a shell company and boom—suddenly, it’s winning defense contracts, selling bullshit consulting services, or “advising” foreign governments who are less interested in advice and more interested in the keys to the kingdom. No need to lobby or bribe anymore. The name does all the talking. Silence is golden—and so is that last name.

Let’s talk about the Trump kids for a moment. Junior’s out there pretending he’s a podcaster-slash-hunter-slash-freedom-fighter, but what he really is… he is a walking ATM of influence. Ivanka? She cashed in so fast during Trump’s first term it would make a Wall Street shark blush. Jared? Please. He walked out of the White House and into a two-billion-dollar deal with the Saudis like he was picking up dry cleaning. And the crazy shit here? No questions asked.

And Trump himself? He’s the maestro stroking the strings of his Stradivarius. He doesn’t need to say a word. Just post a smirking selfie next to some gaudy crypto coin and the cult falls in line. They’ll mortgage their homes, empty their savings, and throw every last penny at whatever flaming pile of garbage he tells them is gold. It’s a scam. They even know it’s a scam. But it’s their scam. It’s not the con anymore. It’s the covenant.

This is the new American dream: forget merit, forget hard work, forget shame. If you can grift big enough, fast enough, and with enough nationalist flair, you can skip the line and cash in. And nobody in the Trump orbit—not the loyal enablers, not the bootlicking advisors, not the bankrupt souls still flying MAGA flags on their F-150s—wants the music to stop.

What’s worse? There’s no need to cover it up. The GOP doesn’t investigate it; they emulate it. The media doesn’t call it out; they chase clicks from it. And the base? They cheer it. They see the grift as proof of strength, dominance, divine favor. If Trump robs the treasury blind, they believe it’s because he earned it.

This isn’t politics anymore. It’s performance art with a cash register.

Look, I’ve seen this Trump playbook before. But I’ll tell you this: back then, at least we pretended there were lines we wouldn’t cross. Today, the lines are gone, and the only thing left is who gets paid.

So, the next time someone tells you they’re investing in Trump meme tokens or their cousin’s company just landed a fat government contract after a golf weekend at Mar-a-Lago, don’t ask how. You already know. Just follow the money—and then follow the silence.

Because in today’s America, grift doesn’t need to speak. It just needs to wink.

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PERSONAL NOTE: I CAN’T DO THIS ALONE.

If you’re reading this, it means you care. You care about truth. About justice. About saving our democracy from the grip of grifters, liars, and power-hungry con men. But let’s be real; I can’t carry this weight on my own.

I’m asking—no, urging—you, my loyal Substack readers, to help grow this platform into a force they can’t ignore. We’re not building a newsletter; we’re building a movement. One loud enough, sharp enough, and relentless enough to push back against the lies and hold the corrupt to account.

Now more than ever, independent journalism needs you. Your support keeps this alive—not corporate sponsors, not shady billionaires with agendas. You.

And yes—as a personal thank you, the first 240 Founding Members will receive a rare, signed, numbered Substack edition of my New York Times bestseller, Revenge: How Donald Trump Weaponized the U.S. Department of Justice Against His Critics. A collector’s item, and a statement.

But this is bigger than a book. It’s about standing up while others stay silent. It’s about building a community that calls out the bullshit and fights like hell for what’s right.

So here’s what you can do:

Become a supporter.

Share this Substack with family and friends.

Bring your people into the fight.

Do your part. Stand up. Speak out. The time is now—and together, we will be heard.