Presidential Seal Now Accepts Meme Coins

When the President moonlights as a crypto pitchman, democracy isn’t just for sale; it’s being auctioned off, one meme coin at a time, under cover of “personal time.”

Guest article by Michael Cohen

You’ve got to hand it to President Trump; he’s managed to turn the presidency into the most profitable reality show in American history, and now, he’s added cryptocurrency to his grift portfolio. The man has gone from steaks, vodka, and fake universities to meme coins, and in true Trumpian fashion, he’s cloaking corruption in the MAGA flag and calling it patriotism.

Let me paint the picture for you: tuxedos, luxury SUVs, and a former NBA star with a meme coin to peddle. Welcome to Trump’s crypto gala—sorry, I mean, his personal time. That’s what the White House is calling it. “Personal time,” as if the President of the United States is entitled to moonlight as a meme coin influencer when he's not busy playing dictator cosplay from the West Wing.

Trump’s latest con—and let’s stop right now pretending it’s anything else—is the $TRUMP coin. A digital token that, like most of his business ventures, is based on smoke, mirrors, and the blind faith of people who should know better. At this little “private dinner” at Trump National Golf Club, the price of $TRUMP dipped 6% just as the attendees—the top 220 coin holders, average buy-in: $1.8 million—started showing up. Classic pump-and-dump vibes. But don’t worry, it’s all kosher. The White House says it wasn’t official. It was personal. Like your cousin flipping knockoff Rolexes at your wedding.

The grift was sold as “intimate” and “exclusive”—words that apparently mean “helicopter in, drone through a speech, helicopter out.” Trump barely spoke to the attendees. No handshakes, no selfies—just 15 minutes of crypto buzzwords and a Bitcoin shoutout. Then he bolted, leaving a roomful of whale investors high on access and low on returns.

So, let us get this straight: the President is allowed to host a cash-for-access gala, rake in crypto fees, and pose behind a podium with the presidential seal—all while calling it “personal time”? That’s not just corrupt, it’s absurd. It’s the kind of Orwellian sleight of hand that would make a banana republic blush. And still, people are shocked? Come on. This is Trump we’re talking about. It’s not hypocrisy; it’s the business model.

Let’s talk numbers. The $TRUMP coin project has already raked in over $324 million in transaction fees since January. Let me say it again… $324 million since January. The coin’s fine print says it’s “not an investment,” just a symbolic gesture of support. Seriously? And Trump University was a philanthropic endeavor in adult education. Two companies linked to Trump own 80% of the coin. But we’re supposed to believe he’s not personally benefiting? Sure, whatever you say.

Even Republicans like Sen. Cynthia Lummis are clutching their pearls. Democrats, of course, are in full outrage mode—and rightly so. But none of this surprises me. I spent a decade-plus inside the belly of the beast, and I’m telling you: this is Trump doing what Trump does best, milking every moment, every title, every fool willing to throw money at the gold-plated altar of his ego.

What’s even more galling is the brazen opacity. No guest list, no disclosures, just usernames on a blockchain leaderboard. A majority of the top holders? Foreign entities, many of whom used overseas exchanges that technically ban U.S. users. One of them is Justin Sun—a Chinese-born crypto mogul currently being sued by the SEC. You cannot make this up. The President of the United States is financially entangled with anonymous crypto whales and international fraudsters. But hey, it’s his day off, so all good, right?

White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt insists it wasn’t a White House event. But here’s the problem: the dinner’s website promised attendees they’d “hear firsthand” from the “Crypto President.” The podium had the presidential seal. Trump bragged about it on Truth Social. The whole affair was dressed in the trappings of the office—just minus the responsibility. If this was truly “personal,” then I’m the new Pope.

And let’s not forget the protesters—100-plus strong in the rain, chanting “Crypto corruption” and “America is not for sale.” Too bad, they got drenched—and they’re wrong. America is for sale. It’s just got a Trump coin sticker on it now.

Here’s the bottom line: Donald Trump is running the presidency like a damn crypto startup—high risk, no regulation, maximum extraction. He’s not even pretending to separate public duty from private gain anymore. He just doesn’t care. And the White House’s defense? He was on break.

This isn’t just unethical; it’s an insult to every American who believes the presidency should be a public trust, not a personal cash cow. But again, I ask you: what did you expect?

Trump never left the grift. He just put it on the blockchain.

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