It’s Saturday, September 5th.
It’s the weekend, so I’ll make this one quicker than usual so you can get all the news and get back to your day.
Also: some very exciting personal news at the top for those who have been asking. Jordy and his wife welcomed their second child to the world yesterday. Mom, baby, and big sibling are all doing great! It’s always nice to be reminded of what’s truly important in life amidst all the chaos.
Now, to the top stories:
The U.S. strikes and destroys Iranian oil tankers
Iran reportedly feels emboldened 6 months into the war and sees no reason to negotiate
Paranoid Pete Hegseth is giving polygraph tests to 50 Joint Staff members over leaks about dwindling U.S. munitions
Witkoff and Kushner land in Moscow
Russia strikes Kyiv airports and Ukraine’s last major steel plants during the envoy visit
Trump keeps demanding mapmakers change the name of Lake Ontario to “Lake America”
New polling shows Democrats with their biggest advantage since 2008
House Republicans are quietly scrubbing Trump’s name off their campaign websites
GOP strategists are panicked over Texas
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Now let’s dive in.
Trump Escalates His War
CENTCOM announced earlier it struck 3 Iranian crude oil carriers, permanently disabling 2 and completely destroying a 3rd, the M/T Kylo, after directing the crew to abandon ship first. The official line is that this came in response to the IRGC firing ballistic missiles at 2 U.S. Navy warships. We don’t have independent confirmation that that happened as of now; just the news of Trump blowing up civilian oil tankers.
Meanwhile, Iran feels more confident than ever after 6 months of fighting the U.S., per the NYT. Tehran thinks it’s found the limits of American power due to Trump’s struggles, they still have enough missiles and drones to keep going, and they feel like they have real leverage by squeezing the Strait of Hormuz. Per reports, Iran would rather drag this out through the midterms and let prolonged war do the damage for them, in the form of high gas prices in the U.S.
The Pentagon is buckling under the weight of Pete Hegseth’s ineptitude as well. The White House is floating a replacement for Deputy Defense Secretary Steve Feinberg, though they’re saying nobody’s being pushed out. Yet, they’re looking for his replacement. Hmm.
Speaking of Paranoid Pete: Investigators reportedly gave polygraph tests to around 50 members of the Joint Staff after reporting showed how depleted our missile and Patriot interceptor stockpiles are. One retired Navy judge called the scope of this “unprecedented.”
Hegseth also pulled his mandatory testosterone screening policy for troops over 30 just a day after announcing it.
Witkoff and Kushner Land in Moscow
Jared Kushner and Steve Witkoff were greeted in Moscow by Putin envoy Kirill Dmitriev. Per the Kyiv Post, Witkoff’s first planned trip to Kyiv was thrown into doubt after he reportedly got nervous. Zelenskyy offered to hold off on striking Moscow and other Russian cities through Monday to make it safer for the U.S. envoys to eventually show up in Kyiv. Russia hasn’t agreed to match that deal. Overnight, Russian drones and missiles hit Kyiv and Kharkiv. They leveled a hypermarket in Mykolaiv, and also struck near both Kyiv airports right as the envoys were supposedly about to fly in from Moscow. Russia also hit Ukraine’s second largest steel plant, which means all 3 of Ukraine’s remaining steel plants have now been hit within a month. Remember when former President Biden rode a train into Kyiv in the middle of the war? Trump’s people are too afraid to even fly in.
Lake America and Trump’s Other Vanity Projects
So where is Trump during all of this? At his golf club in Bedminster, of course. Lots of “Executive Time.” Trump posted on his social media account how much Americans looooove renaming Lake Ontario to “Lake America” and saying how excited Google, Apple, and Bing Maps are to be on board. Say what you want about Trump, but he’s clearly laser focused on the things Americans care about (sarcasm). Trump also posted about his midterm convention, which as of now, a large chunk of House Republicans plan to skip. More on this in a bit.
Speaking of Trump’s vanity projects, Federal Judge Tanya Chutkan ordered the Trump regime to give 48 hours notice before doing any more work on his Memorial Arch project. And separately, a magistrate judge is forcing the regime to disclose everyone who was behind the scheme to create a $1.8 billion taxpayer fund to give to Trump allies, fraudsters, insurrectionists, and cop beaters.
Quick Hits Before We Go
NATO ran submarine hunting drills off Iceland without any U.S. ships for the first time in decades, as European and Canadian forces cover the gap
China’s new W-X stealth drone reportedly has a 170-foot wingspan and a range over 12,000 miles, comparable to a B-2 bomber
The AP found Venezuelans still enduring blackouts and can’t afford basic groceries despite Trump’s promises of prosperity
New Gallup data shows Democrats with their widest voter identification advantage over Republicans since 2008
At least 7 House Republican candidates in swing districts have scrubbed Trump’s name and image off their campaign websites, per WaPo
And Texas GOP strategist Bryan Lanza says he thinks Republicans are going to lose the U.S. Senate race in the state
That’s the quick rundown for today. Thanks for reading, and remember to grab your copy of our book WTF America today. Let me know if you’ve preordered in the comments!
Shoutout to the Meidas Mighty!
The 75 Most Corrupt Things Trump Did in 2026
… This is a list of the 75 most corrupt things Trump did in 2026. These are not all of the corrupt things. There were many more, all of which I chronicled throughout the year in my daily column ‘Today in Politics.’ I was planning to list 100. However, to get it under the length restrictions for Substack emails, I had to cut the list down to 75.
Russia, Russia, Russia why would our administration be in Moscow while they are bombing Ukraine? Also, don’t forget, Epstein, Epstein, Epstein. Iran is a terrible decision meant to distract us from Epstein, Epstein, Epstein.
congratulations Jordy