The Sweet Smell Of GOP Failure

Democrats crushed the GOP coast to coast last night; and now the same Republicans who’ve spent the year rigging maps suddenly want “fairness.” The irony stinks of desperation.

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If schadenfreude had a scent, it’d smell a lot like last night. Sweet. Sharp. A mix of singed ego, burnt donor cash, and the unmistakable whiff of panic wafting from Trump’s MAGA headquarters. Democrats didn’t just win; they annihilated. New York, New Jersey, Virginia, California—blue waves crashing so hard they washed the red right off the map.

And now, the same GOP megadonors who spent years perfecting the art of gerrymandering are clutching their pearls and preaching about “fairness.” Suddenly, they’re born-again believers in “independent redistricting.” Please. Spare me the sanctimony.

Let’s call it what it was: a political beatdown. In Virginia, Abigail Spanberger, a former CIA officer and moderate Democrat, handed Winsome Earle-Sears her own career on a platter. In New Jersey, Mikie Sherrill dismantled Jack Ciattarelli’s “Jersey guy” act like it was a bad mob impression. In California, voters approved Proposition 50, rewriting the state’s congressional maps in Democrats’ favor and turning Republican megadonor Charles Munger Jr.’s $30 million “good governance” crusade into a bonfire of wasted millions.

And then there’s Trump. America’s favorite self-declared “winner” spent the night explaining why everyone else lost. He blamed the government shutdown. He blamed bad candidates. He even blamed his own absence from the ballot, as though democracy itself only functions when he’s the headliner. On Truth Social, he actually wrote in all caps that “TRUMP WASN’T ON THE BALLOT,” as if that were the moral of the story rather than the entire problem.

The GOP’s postmortem came faster than a Fox News spin cycle. Vivek Ramaswamy—yes, the biotech prophet turned professional Trump flatterer—summed it up best: “We got our asses handed to us.” For once, I agree.

But what’s remarkable isn’t that Republicans lost; it’s that they learned nothing from it. The Trump machine still can’t comprehend that America has moved on. They keep running the same playbook—culture war, grievance politics, conspiracy fearmongering—and then act shocked when suburban voters slam the door in their faces.

In Loudoun County, Spanberger crushed it, outperforming every Democrat before her. Why? Because the people living there aren’t buying the chaos anymore. They’re federal workers, professionals, parents. They want competence, not performative outrage. They’re sick of watching their government turned into a Trump rally.

Meanwhile, in New York, Zohran Mamdani, a democratic socialist, defeated none other than Andrew Cuomo, who tried to make his big comeback with Trump’s blessing. Trump even called Cuomo “the lesser of two evils.” Newsflash, Donald: when you’re endorsing the guy who resigned in disgrace, you’re not exactly on the right side of history.

And in California, Gavin Newsom pulled off what might be his boldest political move yet. Prop 50 wasn’t just about maps; it was about momentum. He saw Texas redraw its lines to hand Trump’s GOP five more seats and said, “Two can play that game.” Newsom raised $108 million, went on every screen in America, and told voters that passing Prop 50 was how to “stop Trump cold.” The voters listened.

Enter Charles Munger Jr., the Republican philanthropist who bankrolled the opposition. Thirty million dollars later, he’s issuing press releases about “fair and impartial maps.” It’s almost poetic—the same guy who helped fund California’s original independent redistricting crusade is now crying foul because his own side got outplayed.

It’s as if the GOP suddenly discovered democracy the minute it stopped working for them.

This new “fairness” talk from Republican donors is like hearing an arsonist complain about fire safety regulations. These are the same people who cheered on Texas’s nakedly partisan maps—the ones drawn to protect Trump’s fragile ego and ensure a permanent red firewall in the House. But now that Democrats used their own tools more effectively, the GOP elite is rediscovering its moral compass.

Now, here’s the truth: Trumpism was never about governing. It’s about grievance. And you can’t build a movement on grievance forever; eventually, the people notice the smell. The party that promised to “make America great again” can’t even make its own base show up unless Trump’s name is printed in 72-point font.

Tuesday night proved something fundamental: Americans may tolerate chaos for a while, but they won’t vote for it twice. They won’t keep handing the keys to a driver who keeps steering into walls and blaming the passengers.

The GOP calls it an “off-year.” I call it a warning shot. A reality check. A reminder that the con only lasts until the audience stops clapping.

Because while Trump was busy live-posting his excuses, voters were busy doing something else: moving on.

The sweet smell of success isn’t just about Democrats winning. It’s about America finally remembering what victory feels like when it’s earned—not bought, bullied, or rigged.

And for once, it’s the Republicans choking on the fumes.

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