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Title: Memorial Day Briefing: When the Generals Met the Grifters

Setting: A Secure Tactical Bunker – Location Classified, Time Eternal

The war room’s steel door hissed open. General George S. Patton was first through it, boots thudding like judgment. He wore his trademark helmet and twin pearl-handled Colts — more ceremonial now, but the gleam in his eye said he’d still use them if duty called.

Next came General Omar Bradley. Measured, calm, the “soldier’s general.” He had the look of a man ready to assess, weigh, and render judgment with surgical clarity.

Behind him, General Mark Clark — ever sharp, analytical, and diplomatic when needed — surveyed the scene with a seasoned general’s disdain for nonsense.

Bringing up the rear, chain-smoking and muttering, was Walter Bedell “Beetle” Smith, Eisenhower’s wartime chief of staff. He looked like he’d already seen too much — and wasn't surprised this meeting was happening.

Laid out before them: dossiers, video evidence, testimonies, indictments — the whole unholy mess of the modern American clown show. A rogue’s gallery led by Donald Trump and propped up by Giuliani, Bannon, Stone, Flynn, Eastman, and a choir of stooges so loud it drowned out logic.

Act I: The Briefing

Beetle Smith squinted at the video monitor. “This one tried to say windmills cause cancer.”

Bradley flipped through a file. “Trump dodged the draft for bone spurs, then mocked POWs. This is who led the armed forces?”

“He didn’t lead,” Clark muttered. “He marketed. Different thing entirely.”

Patton growled, “If I’d caught him during the war claiming leadership, I’d have kicked his gold-plated ass across the Maginot Line. You don’t get to wave the flag with one hand while pocketing the treasury with the other.”

“Let’s talk about this ‘rally’,” Bradley said, pointing to January 6th footage. “He sent civilians to storm their own Capitol. Incited rebellion. Hid behind lawyers.”

Beetle coughed through his smoke. “This is fascism with spray tan. Hitler had uniforms. This guy had merch.”

Clark leaned forward. “And still, he claims patriotism. Claims to love the troops.”

Bradley locked eyes with the others. “We buried the real patriots. They never bragged. They bled. And this man would’ve left them to die if it helped his poll numbers.”

Act II: The Holding Pen

The door to the observation room opened. The generals stood behind one-way glass, looking into the containment area where the modern criminals sat.

Trump lounged like a bloated Caesar. Giuliani’s hair dye was dripping again. Bannon looked like he’d been soaking in bourbon and conspiracy theories. The rest yakked into cameras or practiced confused versions of the Constitution.

Bradley spoke first. “I fought alongside men who’d die for democracy. These people wouldn’t miss brunch for it.”

Patton paced. “He talks about greatness, but he’s never served, never sacrificed, never stood for anything but himself. If cowardice were a currency, this room could fund a moon mission.”

Beetle Smith chuckled bitterly. “The Nazis were evil. These clowns are evil and incompetent. It’s like Boris and Natasha joined forces with the Ku Klux Klan and hired the Three Stooges for strategy.”

Clark added, “It’s not just Trump. It’s the ecosystem. Grifters, liars, media stooges. They’ve turned democracy into a pay-per-view grudge match.”

Act III: The Verdict

Patton slammed his fist on the table. “This isn’t politics. It’s treason wrapped in reality TV. The only thing these men ever fought for was airtime.”

Bradley spoke calmly but firmly. “They mock everything we stood for. The Constitution. The truth. The lives lost in Europe, the Pacific, North Africa. This… what we’re seeing… is a betrayal.”

Beetle exhaled. “Let history record: we were called to fight monsters. These are parasites. Worse in some ways. At least monsters had the decency to be obvious.”

Clark stood. “Then let the record show: had these men lived in our time, they wouldn’t be generals. They wouldn’t be heroes. They’d be cellmates.”

Memorial Day – Then and Now

Today, we honor the soldiers who gave everything.

But we must also call out those who dishonor them — with lies, cowardice, and corruption cloaked in faux patriotism.

Patton would’ve slapped the smug off their faces. Bradley would’ve dismantled them with truth. Clark would’ve cornered them with facts. And Beetle Smith would’ve filed them under “Enemies, Domestic.”

They fought real evil. What we’re fighting now is dressed as a joke — and that’s how it gets away with it.

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