South Park Just Nuked the Presidency

Guest article by Michael Cohen

Screenshot from this week’s South Park

South Park didn’t just drag Trump; it detonated him. And Paramount let it happen. Was this political theater, corporate rebellion, or something darker?

Happy Sunday to all. And, while you’re waking up late, enjoying a cup of coffee, I’m about to let you in on a little secret—one I don’t often admit, especially not in the buttoned-up, scandal-stained circles I tend to frequent. I’ve been a fan of South Park since day one. That’s right. Through indictments, congressional hearings, prison time, and trials, I’ve never missed a season. I’ve laughed at the absurdity, cringed at the offensiveness, and marveled at just how close to the jugular Trey Parker and Matt Stone are willing to go—every damn time.

And oh Lord, Season 27 just nuked the playing field.

So here’s a riddle soaked in satire, corporate greed, and political dysfunction: What do you get when two irreverent animators cash in a $1.5 billion deal with a media conglomerate that’s begging for federal approval on a mega-merger—then promptly air the most blistering takedown of a sitting U.S. president since, well, ever?

You get South Park: Season 27, Episode 1. And oh shit, it’s not just offensive. It’s nuclear.

Picture this: President Trump, belly-up in bed with Satan—literally—whining about memes and the Epstein list, arguing with Justin Trudeau, and flashing his manhood they made so minuscule Satan can’t even see it. Welcome back, Trey Parker and Matt Stone. You’ve outdone yourselves. And maybe—just maybe—you’ve also outmaneuvered an entire media empire, a compliant FCC, and one very irate president.

The episode, titled “Sermon on the 'Mount,” aired July 23rd, the day after Parker and Stone sealed their billion-and-a-half-dollar streaming pact with Paramount Global. That’s not timing; that’s choreography. That’s the kind of high-level, Bond villain-esque sequencing that screams, “We knew exactly what we were doing.”

So here's the dystopian twist: This wasn’t just a South Park gag at Trump’s expense. It might’ve been a strategic, albeit expensive, surgical strike.

Let’s connect the dots. Paramount wants to merge with Skydance Media—an $8 billion move that requires FCC approval. But that commission, conveniently, now reports to President Trump. This is the same man whose name has reportedly shown up multiple times in the Epstein files, according to AG Pam Bondi—a name now intertwined with a cartoon devil in a scene so disturbing it probably sent MAGA heads spinning like Linda Blair.

But here’s where it gets really sticky. Paramount recently paid Trump $16 million to settle a lawsuit over a 60 Minutes segment. Then, just days later, it cancels Stephen Colbert—the network’s most successful late-night voice, and one of Trump’s most outspoken critics. CBS called it a “financial decision.” Right. And I’m the Easter Bunny.

So, we have to ask: Was this all to grease the wheels of the Skydance deal? Was Trump’s $16 million payout the cost of political compliance? And was Colbert—a proven ratings king—sacrificed to keep the FCC off Paramount’s back? Or was it to make room, surgically, for Parker and Stone to detonate their golden grenade?

Let’s not forget: Parker and Stone were reportedly fuming over contract delays. They wanted this premiere out earlier. Instead, it dropped the day after Paramount handed them a Brinks truck, and just in time for the corporate heads to pretend innocence while their prized creatives threw a verbal Molotov at the most powerful man in the world.

And what did Trump do? As expected—he fumed. On Truth Social, he celebrated Colbert’s firing, called Kimmel talentless, and praised Greg Gutfeld—seriously, Gutfeld—as the king of late night. No mention of South Park, though. Curious, right? Maybe because he knew if he reacted, it’d validate the sting. Or maybe he’s biding his time. One thing is certain: silence isn’t peace. It’s pressure building behind the dam. And Trump never forgets.

Meanwhile, Senator Elizabeth Warren called the Colbert cancellation “bribery.” Adam Schiff called for answers. And Jon Stewart—the last man standing on Paramount’s comedy front—accused CBS of cowardice. Hell, even Jimmy Fallon took a swing. The late-night community is circling the wagons. And the message is clear: this doesn’t smell right.

But the real question we should be asking is this: did Paramount intentionally greenlight the most grotesque, scorched-earth Trump takedown in television history as a flex? As a final “F-U” before merging with a new, potentially Trump-favored media overlord? Was South Park used as a weaponized asset—not just for laughs, but as cathartic vengeance?

Think about it: Trump’s former enemies at CBS suddenly start making nice with him. Then, behind the curtain, their most unfiltered creators are given carte blanche to burn him in effigy—with Satan as his bedmate. Was this revenge wrapped in plausible deniability? The kind that says, “Hey, we gave him $16 million. We canceled Colbert. What more does he want?”

Maybe Paramount figured the $1.5 billion was a worthwhile price tag to hand Parker and Stone the keys to the kingdom—as long as they waited to detonate the payload after the paperwork was signed. It’s the media equivalent of kissing the ring, then slashing and burning the throne.

South Park has never been subtle. But this? This wasn’t satire. This was strategy. A billion-dollar roast served with sulfur, sarcasm, and Satan.

So I ask again: was this simply comedy? Or was it corporate warfare, waged with cartoon carnage? Because if it’s the latter, Matt and Trey didn’t just win the cultural war—they weaponized it. And if I’m Trump, and I know him well, he’s not laughing.

But then again, when Satan turns you down in bed on national television—who would be?

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