The Infomercial Presidency Hits Riyadh

Trump’s presidency isn’t about policy; it’s a pay-per-view hustle where the American people lose, and the Trump Org cashes in—one crooked deal at a time.

Guest article by Michael Cohen

Let me take you back to something Donald Trump said—bragged about—when we first kicked off the 2016 election cycle. “This is going to be the greatest infomercial in the history of U.S. politics,” he boasted, flashing that smug Cheshire grin to a room of sycophants—myself included. At the time, I thought it was classic Trump hyperbole: loud, crude, attention-grabbing. But I was wrong. He wasn’t kidding. It wasn’t a metaphor. He meant it. And now, nearly a decade later, we’re living through the sequel to The Apprentice: The Presidency Edition, except this time, the cost isn’t just measured in dollars, but in national integrity, global credibility, and American livelihoods.

Let’s talk about China.

In April, Trump puffed out his chest and declared he was not like the presidents before him. No more caving to China. No more fake toughness. They are ripping us off like no one has ever seen before. He promised big, beautiful tariffs that would force Xi Jinping to heel—swore there would be no blinking, no bluffing. Fast forward thirty days later, and guess what? The man folded like a cheap suit made in—where else?—China. As The Atlantic recently laid out, Trump’s big trade war bluff was called, and guess who won? Spoiler: it wasn’t the American worker.

The Wall Street Journal reports that U.S. importers are now scrambling, warning of a summer filled with price hikes and product shortages. Shelves are about to go bare at big-box stores across the country, and the tariff tit-for-tat is already hitting U.S. consumers right in the wallet. According to The New York Times, corporate CEOs who once kissed the MAGA ring are now fuming behind closed doors as supply chains fray and margins shrink.

And what did America get in return? What was the masterstroke of “the greatest dealmaker in the world”?

Absolutely. Fuckin’. Nothing.

But let’s not pretend this was some kind of failure in Trump's eyes. Because when Donald Trump enters a room, he’s not thinking about diplomacy or the American middle class. He’s thinking about brand synergy. He’s checking the angles, calculating the margins, and wondering how he can slap a golden T on the situation and make a buck.

While America got stuck with a busted trade strategy, the Trump Organization has tripled its business and financial holdings since Donny boy strutted back into the Oval Office like a returning WWE villain. And he’s not even being subtle about it anymore. He’s parading around Riyadh, holding court with Gulf State oligarchs like a discount Bond villain, while his company inks new licensing deals in the region. You think that’s a coincidence? You think Jared and Ivanka spent all that time “reimagining Middle East peace” for free?

The Washington Post reports that Trump is negotiating with Qatar to receive a custom $400 million private aircraft—$400 million, presumably so he doesn’t have to share Air Force One with “the help” anymore. The Trump jet will come preloaded with luxury features, described as a floating palace, not the least of which is plausible deniability.

This is what “America First” looks like when it’s translated through Trump-speak: Trump First. Trump Always.

Every overseas trip doubles as a real estate scouting mission. Every policy decision is run through the filter of “how does this benefit the Org?” His tariffs might have tanked American manufacturing, but they sent investors and developers in the Gulf lining up for autographs, real estate deals, and hotel contracts. He’s like the world’s sleaziest concierge—offering photo ops and access to U.S. power structures in exchange for sweetheart deals and beachfront towers.

And while all this plays out, Trump’s base still clings to the fantasy that he’s some kind of blue-collar billionaire who’s fighting the elites. Fighting the elites? Hey MAGA morons…he is the elite. He’s not draining the swamp; he’s franchising it.

The New York Times recently exposed how Trump continues to profit from foreign governments staying at his properties—yes, still. And no, he hasn’t divested. And yes, the grift continues, right under our noses. Lobbyists, defense contractors, and oil sheikhs all know the price of admission: book the suite, buy the Trump crypto coin, kiss the ring, and maybe you get your pipeline approved or your weapons deal renewed.

Meanwhile, American families are bracing for inflation driven by Trump’s failed economic brinkmanship. Groceries cost more. Gas prices more. Retailers warn of delays and scarcity. But rest assured, the chandeliers at Mar-a-Lago are still glistening.

So, what did Trump accomplish?

Let me spell it out for you:
Nothing for you. Everything for him.

The presidency isn’t a job to Donald Trump. It’s a commercial. It’s a QVC special with nuclear codes. It’s one long advertisement for his brand, his buildings, his businesses, and his bloated ego.

And in that sense, maybe he did keep a promise.
He said it would be the greatest infomercial in U.S. political history.

Well my friends, break out the Trump steak knives and order now. Because if this con keeps running, America’s going out of business.

And Trump? He’ll be laughing all the way to the bank in Riyadh.

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