Let the Firings Begin

In this administration, blame travels faster than truth. Every scandal has its scapegoat, every headline its victim, and Kash may be first in the firing line.

Guest article by Michael Cohen. Remember to follow him on Substack for more by clicking here. Michael is also racing to 500K followers on YouTube! Subscribe today for free here.

If you’ve ever worked for Donald Trump—as I did for over a decade—you learn to recognize the early warning signs that someone’s about to get fed to the political woodchipper. It starts as a tiny vibration in the building, like the air pressure drops a little because the universe knows Trump is blaming someone else for whatever is his mess of the day. Staffers walk faster. Aides avoid eye contact. And somewhere deep in the West Wing, a printer starts printing out a fresh stack of résumés just in case. That’s when you know: the Boss is on the hunt for a fall guy. And right now, judging by the headlines, the whispers, and the level of panic coming out of the FBI’s corner offices, Kash Patel might as well be wearing a neon sign that says “FUTURE FORMER EMPLOYEE.”

Trump’s personnel philosophy hasn’t evolved one bit since my time as his fixer; and trust me, I’ve seen him fire people so fast you’d think he was trying to break a land-speed record. One bad press article and you could be gone. So what happens when it’s not one article, but a whole parade of them—each more embarrassing, more unnecessary, and somehow more idiotic than the last? You get what’s happening to Kash Patel: a slow-motion walk to the administrative gallows.

According to a report from MS NOW, the president is “weighing” whether to fire the FBI Director in the coming months. The story cites three people with “knowledge of the situation”—a phrase that should be printed on T-shirts and handed out to anyone who’s ever survived an Oval Office meeting with Trump. If three insiders are whispering that Trump is “murmuring” about your demise, don’t bother updating your calendar. You won’t need it.

Remember the first Trump administration? Firings came by tweet. One minute you’re a “tireless public servant,” and the next you’re learning from Twitter that you’ve been thanked for your “hard work and commitment to the Administration.” Translation: Kick rocks, and don’t let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya. It’s a formula Trump loves because it lets him pretend he’s gracious while absolutely not being gracious at all.

This time, though, the rumblings are bigger than the usual Washington rumor mill. Katy Tur confronted the report’s co-author, Ken Dilanian, about what’s really going on. Dilanian practically shrugged and said, “Look, with Trump you never really know,” which may be the most accurate sentence ever uttered on cable news. But he confirmed Patel’s on “increasingly thin ice,” and Trump is eyeing Andrew Bailey—the former Missouri AG turned co-deputy FBI director—as a possible replacement, along with Dan Bongino, who I assume is already testing out his tough-guy squint in the bathroom mirror.

And why is Kash on ice? Well, let’s go through several of the greatest hits.
Using a government jet to visit his girlfriend? Check.
Flying her around with a taxpayer-funded SWAT team as a security detail? Absolutely.
Prematurely tweeting about investigations like he’s live-tweeting a reality show? Every damn time.

URGENT Message from Meidas Founder Before THANKSGIVING!!!

He even jumped ahead on the Charlie Kirk assassination attempt and a Michigan terrorism probe, tweeting about arrests before anyone else in government had confirmed what the hell was happening. If you’re the FBI Director and your Twitter fingers are faster than your investigators, you’re doing it wrong.

Now, Pam Bondi and Todd Blanche over at DOJ? They’ve been over Patel for a while. Publicly they deny it—because everyone denies everything publicly in this administration—but behind the scenes, they’re about as frustrated as I used to be trying to get Trump to answer a single question without spiraling into a 20-minute monologue about golf or ratings.

Still, here’s the twist: when a bad news story hits, Trump often clings tighter to the person being reported on; not because he believes in them but because it gives him the dopamine hit of shouting “Fake News!” into the void.

White House press secretary Karoline Leavitt jumped on social media to insist Trump “laughed” when he heard the report. According to her, he even told Patel, “Come on, let’s take a picture to show them you’re doing a great job!” The photo shows them smiling, thumbs up, in front of the Declaration of Independence—as if that backdrop somehow imbues the moment with credibility instead of irony.

Spokeswoman Abigail Jackson parroted the same line, declaring this “the most talented and impressive Administration in history.” The kind of statement that makes you wonder whether these people go home at night, stare at themselves in the mirror, and whisper, “This is fine. Everything’s fine.”

Then Trump—never one to stay consistent for more than a news cycle—was directly asked on Air Force One whether he planned to fire Patel. He responded with his classic, “No, he’s doing a great job.” Which, based on my personal experience, is roughly the amount of time between Trump praising you and Trump tossing you under the bus like a mattress he’s been meaning to replace.

Meanwhile, Patel is online defending his girlfriend with the kind of emotional flourish you usually see on a Real Housewives reunion right before someone throws a drink, insisting she’s “done more for this nation than most will in ten lifetimes.” I’m not sure what national service she’s performed beyond dating a man who misuses government jets, but God bless.

And let’s not forget Patel’s other controversies: firing employees for not being conservative enough, ignoring complaints of misconduct, rubber-stamping loyalty tests like he’s running HR for a cult instead of the FBI.

So will Trump actually fire Kash Patel?
In Trump World, it almost doesn’t matter. The threat is the point. The paranoia is the glue. The uncertainty is the currency.

The firings don’t just happen. They hang over you like a chandelier held up by dental floss.

And trust me:
When Trump starts muttering…
When aides start leaking…
When the headlines pile up…

The firing isn’t coming.
It’s already begun.

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